Today

Years before on this same day, a loving couple was overwhelmed with joy holding their little one for the first time in life. That little one is now 4 times taller and 25 times heavier.

Yes, its my birthday..The very day I so comfortably curled up in my mom's warmth for the first time, the day I became the princess in my dad's life. I can clearly see it in my mind's eye now, the joy they both shared then. Strangely, I have never imagined this scenario ever before. Even the way I see my parents changed drastically after I became a mother. My daughter taught me what it takes to be a parent. I changed a lot when my daughter came into my life and she changed me even more when she left me. The void can never be filled.

I know my birthdays will never be the same again. And if I remember it correctly, this is my first birthday that I did not remember. Did not remember until my husband woke me up in the morning with a tender kiss and a birthday gift. Took me few seconds to realize it. Its very unusual of him to give me gifts. I know he is doing the unusual to make me happy. And yes, am happy I have people around trying to make me happy. Their love is what keeps me going.

Thanks for the wishes and prayers..!!FB did a good job of making most of you all think about my existance.. :)

Motherhood

Am half way through the only period in life when girls do not find their tummy ugly..

Yeah.. Pregnancy..The most enjoyable period in a female's life(atleast for me). For many, pregnancy is always associated with nausea, tiredness, mood swings and many discomforts...Touch wood I escaped from most of these and have a problem free pregnancy...So far so good....Thanks to the inherited genes and my caring husband...

It feels marvelous to have a new life within you...
When all your thoughts are occupied 24x7 by this little life within you that you are dying to hold in your hands....When nothing feels better than the flutters within ur tummy....When you take utmost caution about everything around you to ensure nothing will harm your little one.... When you realize that your life will never be the same again.... Thats when a Mother is born...

My mother was a teacher for special children. She considered it more as a passion than as a job and had to quit that to look after me and my brother. I was raised by my mom and I know all that I am now is because of her care and advise that no one else could have given. So also I have always been very clear in my decision that I will never leave my child in the protection of members in my family or other care takers to pursue my career, simply because of my belief that no one can replace a mother.


So, now is the time in my life to take a break from everything that I have been doing and prepare myself to welcome the new life into this world and do justice to motherhood the way my mom did for me and my brother. But wait a second..that essentially means that am going to sit idle at home without a job. My social network is going to be seriously restricted. My financial independence is lost and more than all, I may have to sit at home 24x7. How will it be if a person who can not spend even a full day inside home is restricted to home for indefinitely long period?!

How could my mom do it? How could she quit the job that she took up with such passion for our sake? My working mother could have helped our family to a better financial situation. Yet she chose to quit working and give full attention to her kids. So wise of her that she realized that her love and attention is what the child needs much more than one or two extra saved pennies for future.

This is my first serious realization of what my mom gave up without complaints for our sake. I doubt if I can ever be as selfless as she was in giving up. In the process of being a mother, I get to learn about so many things my mom did for us and to respect her more than ever for all the things that I had taken for granted from her.

Somewhere deep in my heart, I just hope that I will be able to live upto her. After all, am my mama's girl and I should be able to take care of my kids the way she did.

Am hoping that I will overcome my fear just like the many fears that we overcame and survived as children...